This is Bessie, the Boss. She likes to order people around. Hey. isn’t that your job? I mean, aren’t you the one with ‘COACH’ in big letters on your jacket? Golly, what can we do about her? What Bessie wants is to be in charge of things. You can’t let her do that. No player can serve two head coaches.

Example: You have just told all of the outfielders to shag fly balls and you are working with the infielders. You have asked Winnie, a sub infielder, to join the outfielders because she has had problems with pop-ups. You look out in the field and Bessie is all over Winnie, telling her that she doesn’t belong out there. Winnie is feeling hurt and it won’t be long before she’s at your side.

Your feelings: Anger - - “Who does she think she is? She’s not going to get away with that around here. At least, not as long as I’m the coach.” (Reaction to a power tactic)

What you would like to do: Confront her. “O.K., Bessie. Cut out that bossy stuff and take care of your own business. I’ll give the orders around here.” Bessie will probably argue, “But, Coach, Winnie was out of place and I was just telling her what she was supposed to be doing.” If you argue or throw in some threats, Bessie will back off with a sullen, defiant look in her eyes. You will hear more from her — you can bet your next paycheck on that.

What you can do: “Bessie. It’s O.K. I told Winnie to shag flies. She needs the practice. While you’re here, why don’t you hit some grounders so I can get out there and show Lester how to get rid of the ball quicker on his throws to third.” You have done two things, 1) you have re-emphasized your authority with Bessie without getting into a power struggle and 2) you have given Bessie a good, constructive outlet for her need to be in charge.

What Bessie may do and what you will do in response:

Bessie: “But, Coach, Winnie doesn’t belong in the outfield.”

You: “I sent Winnie out there because she needs practice on fly balls.”

Bessie: “But, Coach, Winnie is an infielder.”

You: “Winnie needs practice on fly balls.”

Bessie: “But, Coach, …”

You: “Winnie needs practice on fly balls.”

(This technique is called “The Broken Record.” Calmly repeat the message and by the third repetition, your complainer will back off. You will change your tone of voice slightly with each statement but don’t show any anger or impatience.)

Bessie’s Goal: Power — This is a different kind of power from the one that Stan is after — Stan wants to do whatever he wants to do — Bessie wants to take over some of your management power.